Where Dreams & Reality Collide

image by jeet_sen - Back with a vengeance

Last night I dreamt that I woke up in some sort of a behavior modification facility. I couldn't figure out how I'd gotten there, or why I seemed to be a prisoner. As events unfolded, I realized that I was considered a "problem case" and was under close supervision. The people in charge lied and said that I'd been there for three days already and had tried to escape, so they'd had to sedate me. The first part wasn't true, but I knew I had been drugged. I tried to tell people that I'd been on vacation with my husband just the day before. No one believed me.

It dawned on me that they thought I was mentally unstable and delusional. Do you know how terrifying it is to be completely sane while people treat you as full-out crazy? It's also extremely difficult to act normal and convince people of your sanity when they're already convinced that you're nuts. (I'm guessing my subconscious pulled from Act One of this story from "This American Life" for this part of the dream.)

But then a group of escapees rescued me and we were on the lam. I had to hide from the authorities and my peers who thought I needed help. I called my husband, figuring he could verify my story about being on vacation and clear everything up. But when I talked to him, he was oddly quiet. I couldn't tell if I had bad cell phone reception or if he thought I was crazy, too! Had he helped to have me committed? I hung up the phone, afraid that the signal was being traced to my location.

If I couldn't trust my husband, who could I trust? I started to wonder if my band of rogue rescuers was really working against me. What if I hadn't been rescued, but recaptured? By now, a friendly member of the organization's staff had found me and told me she knew I wasn't crazy and that I should be free to go. We went to a dorm room, and she told me to wait there while she took care of everything else. I was supposed to be safe, but I didn't feel safe. Could I trust her? 

And now the most disturbing part of the dream unfolded. With the help of my escapee friends, I realized that I really was delusional, and that I had to overcome these delusions in order to function in the real world. This enlightenment involved drinking some sort of gritty potion and looking out a window. It doesn't make much sense now, but it was perfectly clear in the dream, of course. Some people in the group thought I wasn't ready to handle this knowledge. But there was no stopping me.

I drank the potion, saw the truth, and then woke up -- shaken and scattered. I felt afraid. As I showered and tried to wash off the dream's lingering energy, I had a brief moment when I wondered: What if the dream was true and this waking life is part of the delusion? It was a very Matrix-esque moment.

I can parse this dream pretty easily, seeing as I've been on a journey of learning to trust my own voice and intuition lately. That doesn't make it any less creepy, but it does explain a lot. Still, I'm hoping for more pleasant dreams in coming nights.

Got any good dreams to share?

Comments

[Emme]

I love it. I have dreams like this too sometimes, I think I could write whole novels from them if they didn't fly away from me before I can shuffle all the way to the kitchen for that first cup o' Joe.

[Leisa Hammett]

Oh, I'm so glad you were able to interpret it's meaning. Just think, when we don't use our voices, we really are captive and we are..deluding ourselves and others....