Thriving Through Limitations

image by NCinDC

This is an obligatory blog post. I think it's only fair to be up-front about that. For the past few days, everything in life has felt obligatory: eating, bathing, reading email, going to the bank, feeding the cats, trying to write. My husband had out-patient surgery on Tuesday, but by the way I've been sleeping and moping around the house, you'd think I was the one in recovery. He's way more chipper than I am. (Then again, he's also on prescription pain meds, so that may be helping his outlook.)

I'm freaking out because life is busy and I'm trying to stick to an unrealistic, yet necessary, time table for everything. As a result, life feels like one big, heavy medicine ball of obligation. And here's what I think of that: obligation is creativity's arch nemesis, because I don't seem to be able to create a damn thing, not even dinner. That's a shame, because most of the things making my life so busy right now are things I willingly signed up for, things I want to do, things I'm actually happy about.

It's disturbing how my energy and excitement for things I love can shift into procrastination and dread as time constraints close in around me like plastic wrap sticking to itself. Suffocating.

Sometimes I work well under pressure. And I'm always determined to meet my deadlines. But let me tell you: it's not always a pretty picture. Okay, it's often not a pretty picture. Yesterday I was so sick of my whining and wide-eyed project paralysis that I told my husband, "If I were another person, I'd leave the house to get away from me!" Bless him, he's mostly unfazed by these episodes (even when he's not on pain killers). I, on the other hand, am completely fazed by my own issues.

I heard Imogen Heap interviewed on NPR the other day. She was talking about all the wonderfully strange noises she jams into her songs, like the sounds of a video game or the kitchen sink. On her latest album, she wanted to include the sound of a jack-in-a-box that a friend had given her. Was Imogen fazed by this challenge? Well, we'll never know if she moped around her house (which, by the way, is shaped like an ellipse and inspired the title of her current album, which, by the way, is lovely) or maniacally worried about it, but here's what she told the interviewer: "That's when the creativity really thrives...when you have these limitations that you set on yourself."

That girl has a can-do attitude, something I could use right about now. So I'm trying to stop thinking of obligation as the creativity killer. Instead, I'm looking at my current obligations as merely a limitation of time to see how that can feed my creativity.

And look: It's working already. I wrote a blog post.

Comments

[heidiannie]

Thank you for taking your obligations seriously. Creativity also thrives as a discipline (which is not a dirty word!). I find myself in a similar position lately, deadlines lurk just ahead of my time and effort to accomplish the goals I have willingly set- you have encouraged me, Jenna. I was feeling rather sorry for myself! Now I feel sorry for BOTH of us!

[Rachelle Mee-Chapman]

I have loads of health limitations, and I'm trying hard right now to notice, just to notice, how I've creatively worked within them. Someone told me recently that I am very resourceful. This seems to me to go hand in hand with creativity.

Thanks Jenna, for making me think about creativity, resourcefulness, and obligations and how they work together.

[Katie @ cakes, tea and dreams]

Your honesty is inspiring - I think we all have these grumbling-under-obligation days. But I think Imogen is right. I hope things pick up for you soon, Jenna.

[heather]

Such a lovely post, I have too felt overwhelmed by even the good creative things going on in my life and found it to be for me, almost paralyzing. I thought I was the only one! ;)

Thank you!

[Betti]

> "It's disturbing how my energy and excitement for things I love can shift into procrastination and dread as time constraints close in around me like plastic wrap sticking to itself."

This is not just a beautiful piece of writing - it also rings all so true for me! I immediately recognised that feeling - it's even more scary because it takes away the energy and excitement from the things you're passionate and enthusiastic about. So, the next time you feel like getting excited about something, there's that little voice in your head that says "don't even bother, next time you suffer from overload this will just become yet another burden that weighs you down. Best not to get enthusiastic about anything..."

But again, the way you describe it, giving it that image, also suggests a way out - just as you can unwrap cling film you can unravel yourself from the constraints by not panicking and unsticking it carefully and gradually.

Thanks, Jenna! You're always an inspiration!

[Lori]

This is great. You have struck a chord with me. I can fully relate this to me and my life. I find that if I have compassion with myself, some breathing time and space while I am working on many things, then the creativity comes with that. Wonderful, you are an inspiration!