The Giving & Receiving of Stories

I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed.

~John Cusack as Lloyd Dobler in Say Anything

I don't want to help you, heal you, inspire you, or teach you anything; that's not why I write.

I write to make sense of the world.

I write because I find comfort in the rhythm of words placed side-by-side; I find joy in the way words sound together and the way they shape -- and give shape to -- my thoughts.

I write to capture and create beauty, meaning, and connection.

A lot of people say they write to inspire others. Not me. Unless by inspiration you mean one of those flashing moments of resonance and insight, a quick intake of breath and a soft exhale of recognition. If my writing gives you that, I consider myself blessed.

And goodness knows, I certainly don't want to teach you anything. This may sound strange coming from someone who holds creative writing classes, who leads workshops, and who writes about how to improve your writing. My friends say this makes me a teacher, but I much rather think of myself as a sharer (despite what an unwieldy word that is!). 

I'd rather connect with you than help you.

I'd rather bring meaning to you than heal you.

I'd rather add beauty to your life than inspire you.

I'd rather share with you than teach you.

These are not arbitrary differences. This is not about nuanced shades of meaning in the definitions of words.

This is not just semantics.

Definition of Semantics: "The study of meanings."

Okay, so maybe this is semantics. Maybe that's exactly what this is.

I get hung up on shades of meaning a lot. I can't help it: I'm a word person.

But as I look at that list above, I can see that the words I'm pitting against one another are more like the two sides of a coin, or two ends of the same spectrum. The ones I prefer (connect, meaning, beauty, and share) are what I try to do in my writing. The others (help, heal, inspire, and teach or learn) are the things that may (if I'm fortunate) come from my stories when someone reads it.

I'm beginning to see it more clearly now: These two sets of words are the giving and receiving of the work.

It's true: I don't write to help, heal, inspire, or teach. But if someone feels less alone, or less crazy, or more loved, or less confused, or more at ease with living in the questions, or more awake to beauty, or more connected to the world, or more rooted in their landscape, or more sure of their own heart, well then, I count myself (and my stories) as fortunate, indeed. 

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I'd love to connect with you at this in-person event that is sure to be chock-full of beauty and meaning.

Join me and some fabulous teachers (and sharers!) at the Soul Sisters Conference in Portland, OR, this October.

I'll be leading a Storytelling Carnival in which I'll help (oops, there's that word!) you identify and begin to tell the important stories from your life. We'll hear some stories of "unexpected choices" and then dig into our own lives to find the moments when we've made brave or different or surprising choices. We'll share our stories with one another, and maybe even see ourselves reflected in someone else's story.

More details are available here.

Or head on over to the Soul Sisters website to register. (Tell 'em I sent you!)

Comments

[Kimberley McGill]

I do love what you've written about the two sides of the coin - your intention when giving and the way that is received - yes, that resonates for me as a writer too.

I can't wait to see you at Soul Sister's! And so excited about the Storytelling Carnival - it just sounds live something I'd love to dive right into.